Mike Bennett

~ Travel. Food.

Mike Bennett

Tag Archives: Mind

Slippers and shakes at 8,000ft.

27 Friday Aug 2010

Posted by Mike in Hiking, Travel, USA

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Body, Climbing, Hiking, Mind, Mount St Helens, Spirit, Travel, USA, Wildlife

Back CameraLaughing, internally, all kinds of phrases and descriptions of myself came to mind; I had forgotten to pack my hiking boots. The final phrase was an oddly peaceful “It is what it is” and I closed my eyes for another thirty minutes.

The almost four hour drive to the climbers bivouac trail-head had been made in a pair of soft, canvas converse trainers, inner soles resembling blackened, pulled pork. Expectations of climbing the mountain this evening would have been cut dead, had I worn my usual driving choice of flip-flops. Briefly considering scenarios, my brain chose ‘up’, before logic could contemplate the summit pumice field turning my feet into something even Hannibal Lecter would turn down and so, with remaining gear checked, we were swallowed by the midnight mouth of the Ptarmigan Trail trees.

Exactly one year ago was the first time I had climbed Mount St. Helens, the upper 90’s unshielded heat punishing my skin and sweat glands, as I staggered up the surface of a lunar landscape. After the descent, a small voice in my head lured me with the idea of what sounded incredibly spiritual, reckless and most importantly, cooler – traverse the same route at night. The seed was planted for this year’s climb.

Ptarmigan trail serves as a wooded two mile loosening of the muscles, much needed for the incline ahead and a 1000′ gain, that doesn’t really get noticeable until the last 3/4 mile. Low cloud and the post-midnight blackness danced with silhouettes of trees, a small headlamp serving as my only lighthouse, setting a claustrophobic yet strangely elucidative scene. About thirty minutes in, the half crescent moon starts to illuminate the widening sky. Wildlife that stays safely hidden during the daily human traffic makes itself present; a porcupine, strange and new bugs, a nonchalant deer, a mouse and even a toad. Night brings an acceptance by these creatures, that we are part of this family and trusts us to be as respectful to them.

Mount St. Helens, USAEmerging at the timber line, the smothering darkness exchanges its guardianship with the edge of the volcanic flow. Both the stars and the moon now work magic, mirroring themselves to the wall before us and coruscating off rocks like some luminous tsunami. This enchantment fades a little with concerns of the three miles and near 4000′ still to go – it is getting pretty damn cold and the lack of grip from my footwear is troubling.

The lower mile and a half of the climb follows the ridge of long-expired lava, unforgiving archipelagos of rock amid a viscose sea of pumice. Step on the wrong island and the stone conveyor will alight its passenger back at the tree line bloodied, bruised and barely conscious. Then it finally comes to me, how my converse trainers feel…

“It’s ok for you, I’ve got my slippers on!” I yammer to Dee, feigning amusement.

And they were. Just like slippers. Warm, soft, comforting on top with a sole completely useless for anything, other than staving off the shock of bathroom floor tile in the winter.

We keep moving. The pace is much slower than my first attempt and with good reason; there was no way I’m using all my energy on the way up, only to be jelly-legged from the potentially more hazardous descent.
Back CameraThe shadows ahead appear to rise and widen into existence, as a fortress of Germelshausen gains focus – I’ve made it to the boulder field. The ground tightens, surrendering the need for purposeful footing and relief permits a moment of courtship; my shoes having journeyed this far and will tread well on this section. Concerns now shift to the accelerating wind, sweeping icy currents off the remaining expanses of snow, as it quickly coalesces with the hot sweat on my back and chest, forcing a shiver. Rest will need to be brief, unless I’m willing to cede ownership of body temperature to the mountain. After hiking passes in Peru at almost 14,000ft untroubled, I’m now over 6,000ft with a cursing nausea, some stomach discomfort and impromptu bathroom diversions.

As the last of the boulders sink below my legs, the alluring edge of the rim discerns itself from the sky; the black hole in the void finally has a terminating edge. Dee moves steadily on but I am less adept through this ocean of pumice quicksand. I lift a leg forward and place it down, my foot instantly breaking the surface, rolling backward as it sinks. The shoes show little resistance now, serving only to bind continually sliced feet. My heart shows desperation to escape from the cage of bone over 8000ft as the mountain plays Sisyphus with my spirit as well as my body, but I will not quit so close. Every movement forward sends a signal to my brain to stop, to go back down and forget about going to the rim. I’ve been here many times on other hikes and openly tell it to shut up, my voice carried downwind on the breeze and lost as a fading echo on the slopes.

Mount St. Helens, Washington, USA - 24th September 2010 -7Lifetimes pass on this final half mile until the climb abruptly terminates at the end of the world. The blackness of 4am and a cloud layer below 5000ft creates the illusion of staring off the edge of Laputa, as it floats through the sky. I want to collapse and take it all in but I must not. The wind is significantly colder and stronger up here and my body spasms from my jaw to my knees. I need to get down quickly.

Back at the boulder fields, the worst of the cold is over. Dawn illumination carries not only some heat, but also hope to a weary mind that should I continue to be troubled with the cold, it will only be for another hour or two until the energizing morning Sun powers skyward. The first ascending hikers of the day make a hasty passage through the lower boulders, just as we reach the lava flows, doubtless focused on experiencing their sunrise at the top. As the altitude reading lowers, so do my ailments and reaching the timberline, I feel like new. No tiredness, no soreness, no sickness – copious energy that was sorely missed on the ascent.
Mount St. Helens, Washington, USA - 24th September 2010 - 15In spite of the the day hikers, the Ptarmigan trail is lacking the magical flow of energy that night releases. Gone are the wildlife of the suffocating woodland, which had now transformed to a light and airy forest. Every human contact becomes an echo of “have you been up already?!?!?” and I crave the deafness of the night before, where my eyes did all the listening and the only voices were internal.

Back at the trailhead, I take a casual look over my shoulder at the mountain behind, which had punished me so differently this time. With a wry smile I couldn’t help but think ‘Yet again you’ve given me unforgettable memories, even if they were hard lessons but, I promise that I will be back – and I will face you on better terms.’

I’ve kept that promise. I return on the 24th of September and this time, I’m packing more than my slippers.

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Too much comfort, not enough meaning.

23 Tuesday Mar 2010

Posted by Mike in Thoughts

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Existence, Exploration, Life, Meaning, Mind, Thoughts, Travel

Finances in order? Check. All material possessions you’re likely to use on a world trip purchased? Check. Career position at a point I can return to? Check. But wait, there’s something missing, something wrong.

Where did I mis-place my passion and, more importantly, where did my desire sneak off to? Ah, yes, it got comfortable.

Most of our life, we’re programmed to operate in a world where existence isn’t meant to be a rolling sea of comfort. A gentle swell and a warm breeze are things to be earned for a very short period each year and even then, they are controlled to an extent by the organizers, who feel the need to herd touristic masses. Why is this? Is our torment and reflex of needing some hurdle to cross or some wall to push against a result of selective shepherding; is it a wired-in counter to the environment we’ve built? Maybe we just don’t know any better.

There is a thought that as a species, we are explorers and have a need to keep exploring. The older I get, the more aware I become that we’re not so much explorers, snarling at the bit and wrapping reigns of command around new lands, but more akin to lonely orphans who are forever searching for their true parental species and an answer to why they are here.

Looking at my travel list, I’m suddenly forced to recognize my own preoccupation with exploration. My heart sinks a little as the realization then hits me that I’m just keeping my mind busy and not attempting to single out what I ultimately want from all this. At that point, I closed the browser window and stopped further consideration of everywhere I can travel next. I have travel decisions to make but I’ll be damned if they are going to be made as the by-product of mental distraction.

I am not content with the mould of life we’ve been poured into.

We are gifted with incredible intellect and awareness.

Life is infinitely short in the grand scheme of things and is a disgrace to waste.

Make choices that have meaning, not just distraction.

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Following my bliss.

04 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Mike in Thoughts

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Business, Development, Direction, Focus, Freelance, Life, Mind, Thoughts

As part of the restructure of my life, I’ve spent the last 3 years putting together the building blocks that have been missing for the 35 years prior. Well, of course there is always development going on but lets just say I hadn’t previously opened myself enough to become fully receptive to my own consciousness. No, I’m not going to power into a long diatribe about understandings of subliminal and background process that continue, even when you think you’re not paying attention. Those conversations are best enjoyed with multiple minds and heated exchanges.

Now I am receptive to my own desires, I’m able to direct energies to my vocation which has narrowed to travel, video and education. I still have some way to go to become the expert in my game but the voices directing me, keep informing that this is what I *should* be doing, so, I’m sticking with it. Following something you enjoy and believe in is an amazing way to feel that your life has a point. In this age of pseudo-enlightenment and 10-second consumption it’s hard to grasp our sense of belonging and ultimately, a desire that our life has not been wasted or in vain.

I would like to share the four things that have been paramount to both how I’m living my life now and how I’m steering myself toward the work I was born to do:

Draw a line in the sand
I never make New Year resolutions but as of late, I am marking public lines in the sand to ensure I achieve a task and keep moving forward. There are many books that advocate this practice and they are absolutely right – having a big public message that you’re going to do something means you have to get it done and there’s no turning back without unwelcome humiliation. It also stops you making false promises that you think will disappear if they’re kept to yourself.  Even if you don’t have anyone to speak your intent to, facing yourself in the mirror or writing a goal down is often enough inspiration to get on with it.

Act on intent
Ideas in your head are worthless unless they have an exit point into the real world. If you find yourself consistently saying ‘I’d love to do this but I need to get a website/business license/portfolio first”, then procrastination is hindering the explosion of your passion for the idea. The best time to do something is when it’s exciting, so go at it with gusto and worry about the minor details along the way. Sure you may need a website, but a splashscreen with contact info will suffice until you start to gain momentum with business. Yes, portfolios can be necessary but until you start doing some work, free or otherwise, you won’t have anything to put in the portfolio.

Don’t drown in the details
We can often get wrapped up trying to absorb a ton of information, to ensure we know as much as possible for marketing ourselves but take a minute to think; is 10% of 10 skills better than 100% of 1 skill? It could be that your jack-of-all-trades offering requires multiple talents but try not to learn too much before you need to and stick with what will get you launched.

Find your temple of thought
For me, this ended up being hiking. Whenever I’m stressed, finding it hard to think of life’s purpose, or need to open my mind to new ideas, I find a long steep hike and push myself hard. For others it’s often solitude, quiet and meditation – the catalyst doesn’t matter as long as you know what it is and can get ready access.

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