Never fear or despair – all roads ahead meet at a single destination that can only be reached by enduring the journey. Never be discouraged to change paths; you will always get to where you’re going, albeit from many different perspectives.
Call it an obsession, a need, a systematic flaw that enslaves my will and forces me upward; I’m a geisha of incline and do everything in my power to entertain the obscene angles that melt my leg muscles.
I’m not a completely voluntary sadist and it came to me randomly, on the commute home on Friday. “I hike because I need to witness nature so immense, so incredible in stature, that I’m humbled to be alive and desire to recognize my insignificance under an apotheosis of rock.”
You would need to really understand me and my detachment from emotional context to know how this works. Everybody has a trigger and mine is a beat-down that removes any remaining ember of resistance from the ego; total domination by nature seems to be one of the few things that puts me in my place.
I’m unsure as to whether I’ll ever find a moment of propitiation but identifying the triggers has been a very important step forward (and a long 40 years to find).
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire,
another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed and which not.
Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under on the water’s surface, that head pokes out of the fire.
Most people guard against going into the fire, and so end up in it.
Those who love the water of pleasure and make it their devotion are cheated with this reversal.
The trickery goes further.
The voice of the fire tells the truth, saying I am not the fire.
I am fountainhead. Come into me and don’t mind the sparks.
—Rumi; The Question